Listening or talking?
The last couple of shows we have talked about how important listening is in networking, interviewing, salary negotiation… etc. Let’s talk about listening.
Listening is one of the most important and least refined communication skills. It is the first step to understanding another person’s wisdom, perspective and feelings. To become a great listener practice connecting totally with the person who is speaking. Let everything else go and focus fully on what is being communicated.
“Super Star’s” in the business world know how to listen and have great communication skills. They have mastered the art of listening, can resist interjecting their opinion and keep an open mind to what is being said. They are a Level 3 listener. Did you know there are three levels of listening? Select the level that applies to you.
Level 1
Most people are a level 1 listener. A level 1 listener is someone who listens to a person, acknowledging them by saying, yes, yes, or “uh huh”, but at the same time is thinking about something else. They end up retaining very little of the conversation. If you are married or in a relationship you will understand what I am talking about. When it comes to couple or relationship counseling the first thing that is on the table is “he doesn’t listen to me. He is physically there, but he doesn’t hear me. It goes in one ear and out the other.”
Level 2
A level 2 listener is someone who begins listening but then starts interjecting him or herself in the conversation. For example someone starts telling you about a trip they took. You are listening and then as soon as you hear the name of the city you realize you have been in the same city. Immediately, you cut into the conversation and interject your experience. The focus of the conversation goes from the person to you.
Level 3
Level 3 listening is when you are completely focused on what the individual is saying. You show a genuine interest in the person. You are connected mentally and visually. While you are listening a cell phone could ring or a noise occurs in the same room and you do not hear it. The other person knows he or she has your undivided attention.